


high

by lillie_vickers



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Bottom Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), M/M, Top Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:46:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28920039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lillie_vickers/pseuds/lillie_vickers
Summary: Clay has been in love with Nick since the summer and once he thought he got over himself he starts getting these wierd phone calls at 3 am.... from Nick.this story is based on the song “why’d you only call me when you’re high” by arctic monkeys! go check it out! one of my fav songs:)¡¡also! i’m ok if you post anywhere about my story or mention it on streams but please, please credit me!! you can credit by using my a03 name, which is lillie_vickers¡¡ and if you want to leave criticism or suggestions please contact me on my instagram @its_lilliev or leave them in the comments
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap, Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	1. The first call

**Author's Note:**

> i’m ok if you post anywhere about my story or mention it on streams but please, please credit me!! you can credit by using my a03 name, which is lillie_vickers
> 
> please enjoy!  
> just note:  
> Dream is Clays Minecraft name   
> Sapnap is Nicks Minecraft name  
> Patches is Clays cat

  
“Hello?” I say as I finally answer my phone. I just turned off my PC after playing Minecraft all day, and see multiple missed calls. And they’re all from Nick.  
After sitting in silence for a good minute I say, “What do you want Nick, it's three in the morning.”  
“You,” he eventually says breaking the silence.  
“What? I don’t understand, wha --- what do you mean.”  
“Clay, I want you. I wanna feel your body on mine. I wanna kiss you  
and never stop.” He says breathlessly. “Clay. I want--”  
I cut him off not wanting to know more of what he’s saying, “Nick stop.” This can’t be real... only a couple hours ago we were talking normally and joking around. Somethings wrong. I'm... confused.  
“Sort of feels like I'm running out of time,” he utters in a whisper I can barely hear.  
“Nick, you’re making no sense. Are you high?”  
After about a minute of silence he finally says, “It's getting harder and harder to get you to listen. Fuck,” he raises his voice so it's almost at a yell.  
“Oh god, you’re high. Why the fuck did I start listening to you.” I'm getting angrier and angrier by the second. I really can’t handle this. This better be a fucking joke or something.  
Because I actually believed him.  
I really wanted to believe him.  
“Clay, I'm not finished,” he snaps.  
“Stop-” I demand, feeling a lump begin to grow in my throat.  
“Because you’re not by my side,” he cuts me off. I hear him faintly crying in the distance and I start thinking back on the whole day. Did I do something wrong? Was it something I said? Something I did? “I'm not finished because you’re not by my side. I need you by my side Clay...” he states, getting quiter throughout the sentence until he's at a whisper. He whispers my name again. This is all just too much.  
“No Nick, please stop. Shit. No, don't cry. Please,” I'm pleading for him to stop crying but it only gets worse. So much is going on and I have no clue what's happening or more importantly, how to stop Nick from crying. It doesn’t help that I'm crying too.

  
-

  
The call ends shortly after when I tell him that we will both forget about it in the morning. After all, he is high. But me? I won’t forget about it. And I didn’t. I couldn’t sleep at all that night. All I could think about was Nick. Nick touching me. Nick wanting me. Nick kissing me. I thought I got over my crush on him last summer, but I guess not. I tried to fight the erge to think those thoughts all night. But I couldn’t. It was useless. So I got up at 6 this morning and drove to the beach. I watched the sunrise. I wanted a distraction. It didn’t help. All I could think about was him. With me. At the beach. But now I'm laying in the sand, scrolling through instagram. Alone. Nick and I have to play Minecraft later today. George and Alex will be there too, but I just don’t know if I can handle being in a call with him today. I decide to suck it up and drive home.

  
-

  
I get a text from Nick as I'm laying in bed, asking if I could hop on the VC yet. To talk. It's not time to start the stream yet, but I agree to hop on. My hands are trembling as I go to open the VC. I'm praying with everything inside me that he doesn’t remember the conversation we had last night. He couldn’t have remembered... right?

He was high. He won’t remember.

He was high. He won’t remember.

I keep repeating that. Over and over again, until discord opens and  
i'm finally in the chat.  
“Hi Nick” my voice shakes.  
“Are you ok, Clay?” he must have noticed how shaky my voice was.  
I lied and said I was fine, and luckily he didn’t press for more information. We continued to talk about our days and what we had planned for the stream. I'm getting more confident about the fact that he must have forgotten what happened last night. Or he wouldn’t be so chill. Right?

I start streaming, we’re playing Manhunt in Minecraft. I have to finish the game before George, Alex, or Nick kills me. The stream ends once they do, or once I kill the Ender Dragon. I tell my chat what we are doing today and we get straight into the game.  
“Dreammmmmm, I see youuuuu!” I hear Nick say, laughing after a couple minutes into the game.  
“Whatever dork. Wait where are you? I don’t see you!” I say, frantically looking around, trying to find him. I couldn’t get killed this early in the game. I knew he was hideing. But I wasn’t sure where. I jump into a revene, and start to look for Iron.  
“That's not what you called me last night, Dream” he jokingly flirts with me. He does this all the time. Now isn’t different. But it feels like it is. I feel a stab in my heart but I continuing running and playing the game as I laugh along to his corny, dumb jokes.  
“Sapnap, you know you want me. It's ok, just say it already.” I say after I found and killed him. For the fourth time. I laugh and hop into the portal to the Nether. I look onto the monitor where I have Nicks stream up and I see him blush.  
“Fine.” he says.  
“What?”  
“Fine. I want you Clay. Is that what you wanted to hear? I. Want. You.” He said, sounding serious.  
I couldn’t tell whether this was a joke or not. Thoughts of last night  
flood back into my mind. Stabbing my heart over and over agian. I can’t, and don’t say anything back to him. My head starts throbbing. What just happened? George and Alex are quiet. Not making a single sound. You could literally hear a pin drop. Then Alex pops out of nowhere and tries to kill me. I could take him. And I'd win. But I decide agianst it. I have a horrible headache and I need to lay down. Like really need to lay down. I let Alex kill me, while putting up a little fight. Couldn’t let him kill me that easily. He wins and laughs. He tauntes it in my face for a couple minutes but I already knew I'd never live this down.  
I tell him to shut up, but I'm glad he’s talking. He broke the silence and put a smile all my face. I laugh and say I'm going to end the stream as I mute them and tell chat goodbye.

I unmute them after I end the stream and tell them I'm going to log off. They protest and beg me not to leave. I'm hovering over and I’m about to press the leave call button George brings up what Nick said earlier.  
“Wait Nick, why do you want Clay so bad?” George likes to joke around like this a lot but it stung. He said that as if it was obvious Nick wouldn’t want me. We all wait in silence, waiting for Nick to answer and when he does he says,  
“I- I was- I was joking. Of course I dont like him.” He stutters a little as if to find the right words that’ll hurt the most. And it was successful.  
He couldn’t even say my name.  
Was it obvious he didn’t like me?  
Am I being a dumb ass?  
“Ouch” I say, hoping it sounds like i'm joking around. Because so were they, weren’t they?  
I sign off the call then get a message from Alex. He was asking if we  
could talk. I wasn’t in the mood to talk anymore than I have so I ignored it and layed down. Finally. So much had just happened and I didn’t understand any of it. That seems to be a trend today.  
I turn on the TV and SpongeBob is on. I don’t change it. I’ve always found the show funny and dumb and I need some cheering up. Patches runs into my room and jumps on my bed, kissing me as if to say “I love youuuuu”. She layes on top of me as I slowly start to drift to sleep.

  
-

  
I wake up around 6pm and I check my phone. My headache has finally gone away but my thoughts about Nick haven’t. I see 30 texts from Alex and 4 missed calls. I call him back and explain that I went to sleep and just had a bad headache. He sounds upset that I ignore him but he doesn’t mention it. He just pushes me to tell him more. But I don’t want to. I eventually give in.  
“Really Clay, what's wrong man? You know I love you man. Seriously.”  
“I know, I know. It's just-- It's just... Nick called me while he was high last night.” I needed to get this out to someone. I needed advice. And I knew Alex would be the right guy. At least I hoped he would. He might make fun of me a little but he’s really sweet and knows how to be a good friend. Most of the time.  
“Uh-oh...” He whispers.  
I tell him about everything. Everything. About the call. About the beach. The call today. How much it hurt.  
Wow I didn’t know someone could hurt me this bad. But he did. Nick hurt me really bad, and he doesn’t even know it.  
“You’re not going to like this but... you need to tell him how you feel. Or at least set some boundaries with him. Like he can’t call you when he’s high, or he can’t make flirty jokes with you anymore. Even if you don’t do that you should tell him about the call... at least.” Alex is smart, and when it comes to advice it isn’t any different. But he was right... I don’t like that advice. I don’t want to confront him. But I don’t want to get hurt more.  
So maybe boundaries are a good thing. Maybe I’ll call him later. I'll talk to him... when he’s not high.


	2. Confrontation-ish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys enjoy!

I decide agianst calling Nick today, It would be better to call him tomorrow. In the morning. So I can get some good rest tonight, maybe even get him out of my head. I decide to workout, and listen to some good music… I turn on my phone and check the time, it's 12 am.  
“Great time to workout.” I say to Patches, who followed me, while I laugh. I finish around 1 am and decide it's time to finally go to bed. I hop in bed and Patches joines me. I watch a couple Tiktoks and Youtube videos then go to turn off my phone, when I get a call.  
It's from Nick. I ignore it. Then he calls me again and I ignore that one too. This repeats for about 3 more times until I just give in. I answer.  
“Hello? Clay?” He says, “Are you there? Clay?”   
“Yes Nick. I'm here” I say after a minute or so.  
“As I arrived home I thought I saw you leaving, carrying your shoes.”  
“What. That makes no sense, you live 3 hours away.”  
“I know Clay... I decided that once again I was just dreamin’ of bumping into you...”  
“Nick…” I warn him. Begging that he won’t continue.  
“And I can’t see you here, wondering where I am…” his voice still in a whisper.  
“What? Nick are you safe? Where are you?” my voice raises to a yell, “Nick where the fuck are you, man?!”  
“I'm-- I'm in the car.” His voice is even quieter than before.  
“Ugh you’re incapable of making right decisions, god Nick”  
“I'm having bad ideas…” his voice trails off.  
“I'm coming to pick you up. Where are you Nick.” I'm not yelling anymore but I'm still upset.  
“I'm about halfway to your house…” He says, sounding like a kid who just got grounded from his PS5.  
“I'm coming to get you. Just pull over at a gas station, or somewhere close by. Send me your location.”  
“Ok… I'm sorry Clay.” He sends me his location.  
“Why-- Why’d you only ever call me when you're high?”  
“High?”  
“High.”  
We sit in silence for a while, while I pull up his location and get in the car.  
“Why are you even in the car? At three in the morning? While you’re high? Goddamn it Nick.”  
“I haven’t found all I was hopin’ to find…”  
“Nick just answer the goddamn question.” It's almost at a shout, but not quite. I can’t yell at him again. No matter what he does or doesn’t do.  
“I-- I wanted to see you.” I hear muffled crying… I assure him that everythings ok and that I'll be there in about an hour and a half. We stay on call the whole time.  
I pull up to the gas station where he was at and get out of the car. I walk up to his passenger car door. I see him crying while holding onto the wheel like his life dependes on it. I knock on the window. He jumps up, whipes his tears and runs over to me. He hugs me and I realize yet again just how short he is. And how much I need him. I hug him back and drag him over to my car. We get in and just sit there for about 5 minutes. Nick thanks me for picking him up and apologizes about 100 times. I drive out of the parking lot.  
“Nick stop apologizing. Please.”  
“Right, sorry.” I laugh and turn on the radio. He turns it off and starts talking again.   
“You didn’t have to do this. But I'm glad you did. You have no clue how much I missed you. How much I needed you.”  
“Anytime.” I don’t want to continue talking about this. It will only hurt me more tomorrow. I drive home and we walk inside. It's around 6am and i'm worn out. I have to play Minecraft with George and Alex again today around noon and I'm in no shape to do so right now. Nick is supposed to be there too but I assume he’ll just cancel. I let Nick go to sleep in my extra room and I collapse into my own bed right when I walk in.

-

I wake up to my alarm saying I have 20 minutes until my Minecraft stream. I call Alex and cancel, I barely got any sleep and I just can’t play right now. Maybe later tonight, but I doubt it. I peak into the spear room and see Nick on his phone. I knock on the door and enter the room.   
“Mornin’” He says as I come in.   
“Wanna get some lunch?”  
“Sure”  
“Ok, I'll make something.” I stand there for about 10 more seconds and say, “do you remember anything that happened last night?”  
“ I can’t say that I do…”  
“Good to know.”  
“Why am I here Clay?”  
“I dunno ask your high self…”  
“Fuck… I was high? Oh god… did I say anything... weird? What happened?”  
“I'm going to make lunch, you’re welcome to come downstairs. And you can change if you want… you can wear anything in my closet.”  
“Ill take you up on that. Then I'm coming downstairs and you’re telling me what happened last night.”  
I walk downstairs and start making an omellet. I'm putting everything I chopped up into the pan with the eggs as Nick comes around the corner.   
“Ohhh Clay cooking. That's hot.” I laugh and turn around, Nick’s wearing my sweatshirt which has my smile logo on it, and some grey sweatpants. I set some of the omletts on a plate for him and start to make a plate for me. “Now tell me about last night…”  
“Well It was three in the morning and I guess I was on your mind. You called me a lot and I didn’t answer until like the fifth call...” I set our plates down and sit myself down too.  
“I left you multiple missed calls…?”  
“And you told me how much you…. How much you wanted to kiss me. How much you wanted me.”  
“no no no no… fuck...” he stares at his plates, and when he finally looks me in the eyes I say,  
“and to your message I replied, why’d you only call me when you’re high.”  
“High? I’ve done this before…?”  
“Why'd you only call me when you’re high?”  
He breaks eye contact with me and starts eating his food. Glancing up at me ever so often. And I do the same, but I never look back up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave a comment or a kudo <3 also subscribe if you want:)


	3. Sleepovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick and Clay have a sleepover:D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyy!! sorry i haven’t posted in a while, been writing a LOOOOOOT!! a ton of chapters coming out today!:D

We’re in the kitchen still, I'm doing the dishes while Nick is at the table watching Youtube, ignoring what just happened not even 10 minutes ago. My phone starts ringing,  
“Hey, uh Nick, who's calling me?”  
“Alex…” He quickly replies and goes to hand me my phone.  
“Will you answer it? Just put it on speakerphone.”  
“Uh... Hey Clay, whats up?” Alex says, his voice shaking a little bit.  
“Nothing much, just doing the dishes. Why?” I reply hesitantly.  
“I’ve been thinking… I think you should tell Nick you like him too,” He states. I put whatever dish I was washing down quickly. But he adds, “I mean what bad could happen? He has called you twice already while high, telling you he wants to kiss you and touch you…”  
“Alex…” I warn him, not wanting him to continue. Nick is looking at me trying to keep eye contact. I quickly look away, not wanting him to see my face get red.  
“basically saying he loves you.” He continues, “And I looked it up, being high can actually cause you to say things you’re thinking because it affects something called the Hippocampus in your brain. The Hippocampus controls your thinking by the way, that's why when someone gets high or drunk they do things they wouldn’t normally do or say things they wouldn’t say.”  
“So I think you should tell him, I think you should go for it. I thought I'd just give you my opinion.” He mumbles on.  
“Alex…” I say a little louder this time.  
“And I think you guys would be so cute together and I think if you told people… like the internet, it would be viral. Because people think you and George are together and it’d-it’d break the internet!”  
“Alex!” I say even louder this time.  
“What Clay, what do you need to say?”  
“Hi Alex…” Nick says in basically a whisper, his voice breaking as he talks. He has a huge smile on his face.  
“Oh god. Fuck omg. Clay… i'm sorry.”  
“Fuck.”  
“Well at least, you don’t need to tell him now…”  
“Fuck you Alex. I'm hanging up.”  
“Ok… Bye.” He says, sounding a little hurt. He quickly texts me and apologizes about a million times. You tell him it's fine, even though it's not.  
He just told my best friend that I was in love with him. That I really want him. I grab my phone and run up the stairs, closing the door behind me. After about 5 minutes I hear a knock on the door.  
“Hey Clay…” He says gently, like I'm so fragile. Like if he talked any louder, any harsher he would crush me. And it's true. I felt terrible but something about his voice made me want to let him in. So I did.  
I hug him as soon as I open the door. He seems a little shocked but hugs me back instantly. I just couldn’t help it. I was crying.  
I was in love with my best friend.  
He rubs my head while telling me everything is fine. I pull away from the hug, still in his arms and we stare at each other. Not wanting to look away in fear of the other one leaving. Forever. He places his forehead on mine, keeping eye contact the whole time. He wipes my tears from my face and lifts my chin to reach his lips. Our lips smash together. Only leaving to get on the bed. He takes off his shirt and I take off mine. He stops kissing me and asks,  
“Is this ok?” I nod but he continues, “I understand this is happening so fast but I dont want to pressure you into anything…”  
“Nick Ive waiting for this moment for so long. I want you.” I whisper.  
He kisses me, like he's been dreaming about this moment for so long. He pulls away and lays down beside me.  
“I'll be back” He says after a moment, walking out of the room.  
And that's it. He leaves. He kissed me, then left.  
I walk around the house looking for him. It's been about 10 minutes and I see him outside. Smoking.  
“Nick. What the fuck.” You say as you open the door.  
“God Clay…” He says as he grabs my face. Kissing me so intensely I almost let him.  
“Nick… stop.” I'm barely able to get that out as he says,  
“Clay, I- I need you so fucking bad. Please”  
You grab his arm and drag him inside. He's high. Again. Of course he had to go fuck up whatever was happening back there. You open the door to your room as he says,  
“Clay, I love you,” He slurs his words.  
You close the door and put him on the bed and cover him up.  
“Clay. Clay. Clay.” He says with only a moment of break in between saying my name.  
“Nick, go to sleep.”  
He listens. I get under the covers too and start to drift off to sleep as I feel Nick put his arms around me and pull me closer.

-

I wake up and feel Nick still holding on to me, like in going to leave him and never come back. I start to get up, trying not to wake him.  
“Clay'' He groans. He has a sleepy, deep “morning voice”. even though it’s 12pm. Ive heard it before in VC but hearing it in real life is different. Better. It gives me butterflies, and he pulls me back onto the bed.  
“I'm hungry Nick.”  
“I don’t care. I want cuddles.”  
You start to protest when he says, “I like it when you say my name.” he pauses, then says, “I'll have you screaming it soon” And winks, while laughing. His laugh is deep and raspy after he's been asleep. It's cute.  
“Omg shut up, you can’t even kiss me without freaking out. You won't be able to do anything.” I tease him.  
“Really? Watch.”  
He kisses me so intensely, and so much. He drags his hands up my shirt and takes it off. He starts kissing my neck.  
“Mm Nick.” I say quietly.  
“Wow you’re already moaning it.” He says while laughing.  
He continues kissing my neck, leaving hickeys signualing to anyone who saw it that I was his. And I liked it.  
“Wait what's today?” You ask in a panic, pushing him off of you.  
“I dunno,” he says while taking his own shirt off.  
“Oh shit. Oh shit.” I look at my phone. It's Friday. I have to stream tomorrow and I need to get up super early.  
“Nooo” Nick whines as he drags out the ‘o’.  
“I gotta be up in the morning…”  
“But-”  
“I'm going to have an early night.”  
“You’re startin to bore me, baby…” He pulls me close, tempting me to kiss him. And I would. But I knew if I started now, I wouldn’t stop.  
“Nick, i'm going to bed.”  
I roll over before he can tempt me more and I feel his arms slide around my waist. He rests his head on my neck, giving it a couple kisses. 

-

I wake up to a loud bang and I realize Nick isn’t beside me. I jump up and see Nick in the kitchen.  
“Sorry… didn’t mean to wake you.” He says. He is eating some Goldfish and is on his phone.  
“God, Nick, what are you doing at 3 in the morning, in the kitchen?”  
He walks over to me, and grabs my waist. He pushes me against the wall.  
My breath stops. He closes his eyes and starts kissing me.  
“I love you.” I manage to say through our kisses.  
Then he grabs my hand and pulls me over to the couch, which was fortunately only a few feet away. He lightly pushes me onto the couch. He gets on top of me and takes off my shirt then takes off his own. Still kissing me, he runs his hands down from my neck. Down my chest. Down my stomach. Until he stops. He stops kissing me. He stops moving his hands. He looks me in the eyes. He grabs the waist of my pants. Pulling it down slowly, keeping eye contact. Until i'm wearing nothing.  
“I love you too.” He whispers in my ear.

-

I wake up still naked, with Nick on top of me, naked as well. I slip out of his arms and take a shower. While I'm running my hands through my hair, thoughts are running through my mind. Water flowing down my back. I couldn’t make sense of what happened last night. My hands start shaking. My best friend is in love with me. And I'm in love with him. This can’t be real. I turn off the water after I'm done and I hear a knock on the door.  
“Uh Clay, are you in there?”  
“Yes.”  
“You left me this morning and i just wanted to check and see if you were alright…” His voice is gentle, I can tell he’s a little hurt.  
“I am, just have to stream soon…”  
“Oh. Ok.” I hear him walk away and I get changed.  
I see him sitting on the couch from upstairs. He is eating cereal and watching tv.  
“Hey Nick… wanna stream with me?” I shout down to him.  
“Actually I'm going to go home. I just need to get some more clothes if i'm staying here longer. Can’t wear your clothes forever.”  
“Of course you can stay longer. Text me if you need anything, ok?  
He says goodbye and promises to text me if he needs anything.  
Something felt off but I ignore it. I can’t mess this up and overthink everything. But looking down at him, he seemed hurt. And nervous.


	4. Fuck you Karl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick messed up, bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter is really short !!! enjoy:D

I just finished streaming with George and Alex, playing a manhunt. Before the stream started I updated George and Alex on Nick and everything that's happened. And now that we finished streaming they ask a couple of questions and I answer them, then say ‘adios!’ before leaving, just for Alex. He loves when I speak Spanish to him. He’s so sweet.

-

I'm playing some Minecraft alone when I get a call from Alex.  
“Hey, whats up Alex?” I say, anwering the call.  
“Hey, I'm coming over right now. Just please tell me you haven’t checked Twitter today?” He says frantically.  
“Um, no not since lunch… why? Alex what's going on? Why are you coming over?”  
“Promise me you won’t check Twitter till I'm there?”  
“Yes, I promise. Alex. What's happening.”  
“Just don’t hang up the phone. I'm almost there.”

-

We stayed on the phone, until he pulled up at my house.  
“Hey, Clay” He says as I open the door and let him into my house. He continues while looking around, “This place is nice! I like how you have it decreated”   
“Alex, why are you here?” I say, feeling more nervous as the seconds go by.  
“Where’s your bedroom?” He asks, deflecting my question.  
I take a deep breath and lead him up the stairs. Into my room. He sits on my bed and pulls out his phone. I run over and sit beside him. He gets up Twitter and pulls up a photo. I see Karl kissing someone then the longer I look, I see that someone is Nick. Nick has Karl pushed against a wall outside a store somewhere. My smile fades. Tears start forming in my eyes.  
“Clay…” Alex says as he pulls me in for a hug. I hug him and cry. His arms were so comforting.   
After about 30 minutes or so I pull away. “Wh-when did this happen?” I manage to stutter out. “How did this happen? Th-the photo I mean…”  
He wipes the tears from my face that just stopped streaming down. I managed to control them. For now.  
“It happened about half way through the stream. That's when the photo blew up… on Twitter. But I don’t know how it happened.”  
“Can I stay at your house tonight Alex.” I say, as tears start coming down my face again. “Just in case he comes here?”  
“Of course Clay.”

-

We get to his house and I take out my bag from the back of his car. I packed it before we left. Not bringing much, just clothes for a couple of days. Alex grabs my hand and pulls me to his room, basically dragging me. I'm almost twice the size of him, but he manages to get me there. I sit on his bed, trying to hold back my tears. He goes over to his closet and grabs a shirt. He takes the one he has on, off. And he catches me watching him and smirks. I turn away, not wanting him to see me blushing.  
“You can continue watching the view. You know you like it, Clay.” When he says my name I look over at him. He’s smiling.  
Was he being serious? What the fuck am I thinking? Am I seriously wanting to watch Alex get undressed? I feel guilty and look away again.  
He walks over to me and pulls me to the edge of the bed. I can’t do this. I can’t look at him. I can’t. Because I know if I do… I’ll do something I'll regret.   
I look at the floor, and he grabs my chin, slowly pulling it upwards. I feel the tension in the room rise. I notice he still doesn’t have a shirt on. I notice how beautiful his skin is. How his body is longing for me. I see his lips, parted in a slight smile. I see his eyes, staring me down. Looking at me so intensely. He is standing right above me and leans down. Not breaking eye contact.  
“Alex” I plead.  
He closes his eyes and I close mine. Smashing his lips on mine. Pushing me onto the bed. He's on top of me, kissing me so hard. He stops for only a moment while I take off my shirt. I roll on top of him and he starts taking his pants off, while I take off mine. We kiss every chance we get as if we’ve wanted for this forever. Our bodies fit perfectly together as if puzzle pieces. I start kissing down his neck, trying to find the right place to mark his skin. When I find it, he moans out my name, making me rub down his chest feeling every part of his body. Not wanting to stop.

-

I wake up in Alex’s arms. I slide out and grab my clothes and hear him groan, “Clayyy. Mmm, come back. Please don’t leave.”  
That's when everything starts flooding back in my mind. What we did last night. Our skin touching. Our mouths touching. How good it felt. How much I wanted to do it again. I run out the door and run outside. Not sure where I’m going. I just couldn’t stop. I was so out of breath. Then I see a lake. I stop myself and sit at a picnic table. Alex comes running a moment after.   
“God Clay, how did you just keep running?” He yells as he runs over, out of breath. He looks at me, I look away. He grabs my face, making me look at him.  
“Did I do something wrong Clay?” He asks gently. I shake my head.   
He replies by saying, “Then why did you just sprint out of my house at 7am for 10 minutes without stopping?” He sounds so confused and hurt.  
After a minute I get the breath to say “Alex, I liked… what we did...la- last night… a lot.” I mumble.   
“Hm, I didn’t hear you,” He says, pulling me closer. He smiles. I feel his breath on my lips. “Mind saying it again?” he whispers in my ear. He places his forehead against mine, looking me in the eyes.   
“Alex...” I whimper.  
“Let's go home.” He says, and he gets up and starts walking away. I follow. He grabs my hand and holds it the whole way to his house, never letting it go.


	5. Shower thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another short chapter!! if you play sweater weather during the kiss (you’ll know when you see it, it makes the scene so much better;))

We get back to Alex’s house, hand in hand.  
“Hey, can I take a shower?” I ask Alex as I grab my bag. He shows me to his shower. It’s really nice and pretty big for a shower.  
“If you need me, I'll be in my room,” he says, shutting the door. I grab my phone and see lots of missed calls, and messages from Nick. I ignore them and just text back George. I hop in the shower, turning on some music. I decided on a playlist that has all the music slowed and reverbed. I get in the shower. Water running down my face. A song I’ve never heard comes on. I wanna be yours by Arctic Monkeys, slowed.   
Secrets I have held in my heart  
Are harder to hide than I thought  
Maybe I just wanna be yours  
I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours  
My hands start shaking. My breath tightening. Tears streaming down. I hold onto the wall for support. The song seems to go on forever until I hear,  
“Hey, Clay. You ok in there?” Alex asks, “Clay I’m coming in,” he continues after I don’t reply. He walks in, sees me crying and shaking. I look like a mess. He gets in the shower, and hugs me. I lean onto him and I let out a sad laugh and say,   
“Why’d you get in with your clothes on, you're getting wet.”  
“You’re worth it”  
After a minute or two he adds, “Is it... Nick?”  
“Yeah…” I mumble feeling the not in my throat grow.  
He cups my face, water dripping and falling down both our faces. And looks me in the eyes.  
“Clay, I love you” he says and kisses me. This kiss was different from the others. It was sweet, burning with passion. It was soft.  
Sweater Weather by the neighborhood, plays in the background. Suddenly I forget about Nick. I forget about how he broke me. I forget about how he cheated on me, if we were even a thing. I forget about how much I'm in love with Nick. I forget about everything. All I can think about is Alex. He grabs my waist and pulls me closer. Everything in this moment was perfect. He was perfect.

-

I wake up around 3 pm, in Alex’s bed. He’s laying beside me, his arm around me. He’s watching George stream Minecraft. When he sees I'm awake he quickly turns it off and kisses my forehead. He drags his arm down my spine, making me shiver. We cuddle. My head rests against his chest. I feel every breath he takes. His chest rising and falling staying at a consistant pace until I'd move. Even the slightest bit. His breath would quicken. Like he was nervous I’d run out on him again.   
“Alex, are you scared that i'm going to leave?” I ask him, hoping he says no.  
“Um-”  
“Your breath quickens when I move…” I sit up and look him in the eyes. He looks away. I grab his face, making him look at me.   
Oh how the tables have turned…  
I get on top of him, and lay down.  
“I'm not leaving Alex, I promise.”  
I feel his heart beating.   
We lay there for another hour, finding comfort in each other. Finding comfort in the silence. We decide to go get dinner. We change and head out the door. I grab my phone before leaving. I see 30 more missed calls and a hundred more texts from nick. I ignore him. It's what I had to do. I'm going to dinner with Alex, and I'm not letting him mess it up.  
My phone busses and its a text message from George,  
“Ik u don’t wanna but u should txt back sap”  
I reply and tell him I will after dinner. I dont tell him i’m going to dinner with Alex. Even though he wouldn’t suspect anything, I still leave that part out. We talk a little about how each other is doing and our plans for the week streaming wise. Alex pulls into the restaurant and I stop texting George, Alex opens the door for me and grabs my hand.   
“Who ya texting?” He asks.  
“Oh, just George.” I say letting out a little laugh. He squeezes my hand and says,  
“I'm glad you’re doing better.”  
“Thank you. Thank you for being there with me through everything. Really, it means a lot. I love you Alex.” I peck him on the cheek and he blushes.  
“I love you too Clay.”


	6. Happy moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Clay being happy:)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys, i’ll make more happy chapters, don’t worry!! LMAO- i was smiling the whole time while writing this:D

We finished eating dinner, and Alex drove us back to his place. The dinner was so good, and Alex and I had some great conversations. We stirred away from sad topics and focused on good things going on. Now we are streaming Roblox. He loves this game some much but, in reality it sucks. He lets me borrow a PC and I go to another room so he can turn on his camera while he streams. I start my stream too and the chat is filled with people saying they missed me and how I should stream more. I felt bad, I try to stream often but it's stressful with everything else in my life. I promise chat that I’ll stream more often and then join Alex in the Discord call.  
“Hola Quackity!” I say, I look over where I have his stream pulled up. His smile is huge.  
“Omg Dream speaking Spanish! That's so hot.” We both erupt into a fit of laughter. He loads up the game and I start thanking donos.   
“Thank you Sapnap for the $100- wait what?” I read his donation: ‘pls answer me Clay. I rlly need to see you.’ I ignore it. My chat starts filling up with people asking if I've seen the picture of Karl and Sapnap.  
“Actually I have seen that picture…” my voice breaks. I mute myself so the stream can’t hear me. I regain my thoughts and unmute.  
“Hey Dream, wanna play now? I have the perfect game to play with you!” Alex says, he sounds so excited. I smile.  
“Yes, I'm so ready to play this game with you.” He texts me asking if I was ok. And honestly I was. I'm getting over the pain. I'm moving on. I'm happy. I tell him yes and he shows me our first game

-

“That game is so dumb Alex,” I say after we finish streaming.  
“What no it's not! It's sooo much better than Minecraft,” He says sarcastically.  
“Hey Alex, I'm going to read Nicks messages now… George said I should. Can you cuddle me while I read them?”  
“I’d love to!” He seemed hurt when I mentioned Nick but he got excited when I brought up cuddling. He smiles and runs into his room. He jumps on the bed and gets under the covers, holding them open for me. I jump under them and he gets on top of me.  
“Are you ticklish?” He asks  
“Huh?” I say, confused.  
He grabs my arms with one hand, pinning me down. He searches for my ticklish spots, and he finds it. My stomach. I start to scwarm.   
“Wow you are!” He says as he starts tickling me.  
“Alex! Stop! Nooooo!” I say, laughing uncontrollably. I start to weeze. He starts laughing too and I take advantage of that. I flip him over. Pinning him to the bed. His smile fades.   
“No Clay! Don’t even think about it!” He yells.  
“Hey Alex, are you ticklish?” I say with a big smile on my face.  
“No, no, no! I'm not!” He skwarms under my grip. Trying to get out.  
“So If i do this-” I start tickling his stomach, “- then you wont be mad right?”   
“Clay!” He screams, “Stop!” He trys, and terribly fails, to hold in his laughter. I stop tickling him and put on a serious face.   
“Now, this is what's going to happen… you’re going to kiss me then I'm going to read Nick's text while cuddling you, ok?”  
Alex, still in a playful mood says, “Yes daddy Dream.” I cringe, and roll my eyes.  
“What do you want me to call you? Daddy Clay? Master Clay?” He asks, laughing uncontrollably.  
“Is none of the above an answer?” I roll my eyes again and give him a peck on the lips, letting his hands go, starting to pull away. He grabs my shirt and pulls me back in, his other hand goes to my neck, deepening the kiss. I pull away after a moment and grab my phone.

**Author's Note:**

> if you want to leave criticism or suggestions please contact me on my instagram @its_lilliev or leave them in the comments


End file.
